Today, Saturday 31 October 1914, George Calderon was presumably travelling in a hospital train to one of the Channel ports. The day is a black hole in his biography, but as Kittie remembered it he arrived in London on 1 November.
It is an unspeakable relief to be off the battlefield. I have been submerged in histories, studies, maps, diaries of the war, since the end of July. The disadvantage of the timeline approach I chose for this blog is that I have come to ‘live’ the war and George’s experience of it, day by day. And it has ‘got’ to me. The massed slaughter and mutilation, the material destruction, the relentless stupidity of it all, begin to depress you, then oppress you. Come last weekend, when we were working on the Battle of Gheluvelt, I literally wanted to shout with Siegfried Sassoon, ‘O Jesus, make it stop!’
Then reading and re-reading Calderon’s letters day by day has revealed things about him that I did not know, and certainly was not expecting to discover this late in writing his biography. Of course, as a 45-year-old writer/scholar completely unused to military action, he was under great stress; one should not underestimate that. Within a week of arriving in Belgium he was also displaying a potentially life-threatening medical symptom. Even so, some of the aspects of his character revealed here are challenging.
An historian said to me, ‘I find Laurence Binyon’s war effort far more impressive. Instead of prancing about on a horse like Calderon, he went and washed floors and attended the wounded in a military hospital.’ Indeed, there does seem to be an element of exhibitionism in all George’s military doings since arriving on Salisbury Plain, especially in his hyperactivity 27-29 October. The other officers may have regarded his unilateral efforts to catch snipers as a liability, and himself as a ‘plonker’ when he got shot. As he was being stretchered out of the field ambulance on the night of 29 October, he heard a wounded officer inquire whether it was ‘that cheery cove’. George quotes this as a compliment, but I’m not so sure. What is one to make of his claim (29 October) that interpreting work was ‘too hard’, when he had repeatedly told Kittie he had nothing to do?
Again, we should not forget the stress Calderon was under. But there is more evidence in these letters from Belgium that he was bipolar than anywhere else in the biographical material. I am inclined to think that Kittie suppressed letters both from Belgium and before in which George was specific about his depression. On two occasions, 1904 and 1906, he certainly suffered from acute ‘nervous exhaustion’.
Perhaps the biggest surprise, however, is the nastiness of some of his language. It occasionally takes a homicidal turn (‘let him be hanged on a high gallows in Whitehall’). In Calderon’s fiction, for example Dwala, one reads this as satiric anger. There is no evidence of intemperate, corrosive language in any other personal letters of his that have survived. However, perceived nastiness was precisely what people did not like about George in the Stage Society and in the anti-suffrage movement — that is well documented.
In my post on 28 October I did not have room to quote a long paragraph in his letter of that day, describing a search that he initiated and led of a neighbouring farmhouse where the peasants were hanging up tobacco in an outhouse. He had become ‘d—–d suspicious about these poor suffering Belges’ in general, and had ‘a telepathic suspicion’ about these ‘nasty shady-looking’ peasants in particular. He believed that a lot of the sniping came from the Flemings themselves. He did not find anything at the farmhouse, but was evidently pleased that they were ‘devilish frightened at my visiting the tobacco shed’. ‘They’re an ignorant selfish boorish crew, all over here’, he told Kittie.
It is tempting to think that Calderon had become paranoid, but as he said earlier ‘nobody in the British army trusts them [the Flemings] an inch’. Some of the local peasants were arrested for spying, but it sounds to me that the suspicion of them sniping at British troops is of a piece with the Germans’ obsession with ‘francs tireurs’, which led them to commit mass executions of civilians in France and Belgium. I do not know that any historian has got to the bottom of whether such snipers ever existed.
Many of George’s actions and pronouncements at the Front I find exasperating. Certainly I can see the historian’s point about comparing him with Binyon. In a word, was Calderon just ‘pissing about’ as a soldier?
It may look like this at times, but I would refer you back to my post of 18 September. The one consistent and impressive thing about the whole period 8-30 October is his writing. As a follower emailed me a few days ago, it is almost incredible how often and how much he wrote to Kittie (and remember that there were other letters, now lost). This could not have been easy. Ranks watching him, and the censor, must have realised he was a professional writer. Towards the end, he was so stressed that he repeated himself in the same sentence and misspelt words, both of which are almost unheard of in him. But he kept writing, and there is plenty of wit, elegance and vivid observation in his letters. You feel in places that he is writing for the record. I have no doubt that if he had come through the war he would have used the letters to write a book.
In his TLS blog post Michael Caines described George as ‘complex, versatile and restless’. One is used to Edwardians being versatile, restless, amateur, or dilettante, say, but complex? It was very perceptive of Caines, after (presumably) a relatively short acquaintance with George, to conclude this. ‘Did one human body ever hold quite so simple yet quite so complex a soul?’, wrote Kittie in her memoirs.
His complexity is a function of his genius.
Next entry: 1 November 1914
Nurse Katharine
Several people have asked me why ‘Kittie’ is not spelt with a ‘-y’. The answer is that the spelling ‘Kitty’ is reserved for private, more intimate use, for example between Kittie and George, Kittie and Nina (‘Dinah’) Corbet, Kittie and Constance (‘Connie’) Sutton. ‘Kitty’ long predates Louis Wain’s anthropomorphised cat drawings and cat stories, but I don’t think there is much doubt that it was closely associated in Edwardians’ ears with the diminutive/affectionate form of ‘kitten’. This would explain why George signed himself ‘Peter’, drawing on one occasion a tom-cat underneath: ‘Peter’ was the cat-hero of many of Louis Wain’s early published works. But for polite, upper-class use as a name it had to be changed to ‘Kittie’. Although George used ‘Kitty’ in his love letters, therefore, his 1904 novel Dwala was dedicated to ‘Kittie’.
But even ‘Kittie’ would have been far too familiar for soldier patients addressing a VAD nurse of her social position. She would have been at most ‘Katharine’, and more likely ‘Mrs Calderon’ (this was how some wrote to her after they were discharged), or ‘sister’.
It was an absolute boon for George Calderon that for a ‘few days’ after he was admitted to hospital in London he was allowed to see only his wife as a visitor — and he probabaly knew it. Kittie’s powers as a listener and a therapist were famous. Moreover, by now she was presumably used to caring for wounded soldiers. On her first visit, she had seen George become ‘over-excited’ talking to his brother Fred. We know from later statements that the medical staff at Sussex Lodge Hospital counselled George against talking about ‘the battle’ (i.e. the first day of the Battle of Gheluvelt that he had experienced). But George had already said in his letters that he couldn’t wait to tell her about everything and everyone he had seen in Belgium, so he undoubtedly did, volubly and humorously. Whereas his Edwardian doctors thought it best to suppress the memories, acute stress disorder therapists today might think the opposite.
In any case, Kittie was George Calderon’s ultimate ‘other’. He had to communicate to her everything that was in his heart and on his mind. As she wrote later, of their pre-War life:
So we will leave them to themselves for a ‘few days’…
Next entry: ‘Mrs Alice’s eye-refreshing flowers’